Shakespeare's Twelfth Night

"If music be the food of love, play on.

Give me excess of it that."

"We are not groupies..

Groupies sleep with rock stars because they want to be near someone famous.  We are here because of the music.  We inspire the music.  We are "Band Aids."

The classic rock kick I've been on has shown in all the books I've read lately.  In all honesty, I haven't read/finished this many books in such a short amount of time, ever.  Since December I've read 6 books and finished 2 others.  In order I've read Watch You Bleed: The Saga of Guns N' Roses, Reckless Road: The Making of Appetite for Destruction, The Dirt by Motley Crue, Hammer of the Gods, and Let's Spend the Night Together.  I've finished Rock On by Dan Kennedy and SLASH by Slash.  I just picked up the Stanley Booth book about the Stones, and if every single bookstore wasn't out, or had such a crappy copy of Walk This Way I'd be reading that right now as well.

All this reading has been entertaining, obviously, knowledgeable, and frustrating.  Never again, in my life, I think, will something like this ever happen again.  Gone are the days of actual ROCK STARS.  After reading Let's Spend the Night Together I tried so hard to think of a band out there right now that would have legitimate Band-Aids, but I couldn't think of a single one.  Would The Killers?  I doubt it.  Are they really rock stars?  I sure wouldn't make a big deal out of seeing one of them on the street.  Would my dad recognize one of them? Hell no (this argument could be rendered invalid as back then there was no MTV so maybe I'm misjudging but I'm assuming here that even if you were born the day before you'd know who Led Zeppelin was- exaggeration yes, but probably true).  There is no group out there right now that transcends generations, except maybe Coldplay but give me a break here, they're only rock stars because Chris Martin is married to an actress.  Would he be in any of the magazines if he wasn't (besides the obvious Rolling Stone, Spin, etc.) you don't hear of anyone else in the band do you?  Even if you didn't like Led Zeppelin, even if you didn't listen to them, even if you wished they never stepped foot on American soil, chances are you knew who they were..  

Further proving my point is iTunes top songs list.

The top 10 songs on iTunes Rock list are as follows:

1. The Fray - You Found Me (Soft)

2. Kevin Rudolf & Lil Wayne - Let it Rock (Rap)

3. Shinedown - Second Chance (Who?)

4. Matt Nathanson - Come on Get Higher (Since when are acoustic singer/songwriters rock?)

5. Seether - Careless Whisper (Give me a break.)

6. Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody (This makes me sick.)

7. Theory of a Deadman - Bad Girlfriend (Again.. who?)

8. Journey - Don't Stop Believin' (I find this hysterical)

9. Papa Roach - Lifeline (hm)

10. Apocalyptica - I Don't Care (Who? And how do you expect people to pronounce your name?)

I'd like to think that I'm pretty knowledgeable when it comes to music, and I don't even know who most of the people in that list are!  Granted, I do not listen to top 40 radio, but that's never usually stopped me of being aware of what's popular in music at the time.  Do these bands have groupies?? I'm so intrigued.  I assume that there are a bunch of girls who follow Nickelback (for reasons completely unknown and frankly, shocking to me), just as I assume that Chad Kroeger has no shortage of backstage "offerings".  But are there really women out there, and I use the word women and not girls, who are there for the music, whole-heartedly?  I'd like to believe there are people in the world who don't believe Nickelback is the Rolling Stones of our generation, but you can never really underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups (Disclaimer: I stole that from a t-shirt I saw in some trashy boardwalk t-shirt store).  If there are girls, and I use girls purposefully here, that honestly believe in Chad Kroeger's music God help us all.  I can think of maybe two bands / artists that I would be a Band Aid for, but they are by no means rock stars.  They also do not strike me as the type that would even allow themselves to fall prey to groupiedom (but what do I know?)  Is this because it is socially unacceptable (was it ever?) to be a groupie?  Or is it because there are no bands deserving of the honor?  Has music prospered no legitimate rock stars, and therefore produced no groupies to go along with them? Has America progressed so far passed promiscuity that being a groupie is not really considered groupie, but rather just now an acceptable form of after concert behavior?  Has groupiedom just become another part of the show?  Or rather, maybe it's just moved on to a different genre of music altogether- rap.  Has rap and hip hop so eclipsed the music world that it's virtually impossible to be a rock star? 

My Thoughts on Asher Roth..

I honestly can not believe it's taken this long for someone to come out with a song about college.  This song is so simply written that it's infuriating.  Honestly, how has no one thought of this before?  Everyday, for years, hundreds of thousands of students attend college, and not one thought to make a rap about how much they liked it?

On a more serious note, is this song only popular because a rather average looking, white male came out with the song?  Is it just me, or is that why it's so successful?  I'm also curious to know what the rest of his album deals with.. xbox 360 sessions? living in a dirty college apartment? What else can he possibly write about? 

My life is very odd.

Today I was sitting at work and all of a sudden I starting singing to myself, "All we hear is radio ga ga, radio goo goo, radio ga ga."  And I could not for the life of me remember who sang it, or any other bit of words from the song.

I just got home from work and turned on VH1 Classic, obviously.

Queen's performance of "Radio Ga Ga'' is on the television from Live Aid.

This is not the first time, or the 10th, more like the 200th time, something like this has happened to me.  It usually happens on a daily basis, I'll wake up with a song in my head I haven't heard in AGES and I'll hear it playing later in the day.

One of my other most notable experiences with this, with which I have yet to come up with a clever name, was about 2 (wow, 2) years ago when I woke up with "No Rain" by Blind Melon stuck in my head.  I had, seriously, not listened to that song in years.  I had a concert to go to later that night, and one of the openers covered it.  Very, very odd.

List of bands I'd like to see before THEY die...

The Rolling Stones

AC/DC

Van Halen (NOT Van Hagar)

THE ORIGINAL LINE UP GUNS N ROSES

Motley Crue (just for the hell of it..)

My love for KevDev knows no bounds.

Crappy iphone camera pic of Kevin Devine playing before Saves the Day at CMJ 2008

There are few artists I've come across in my life more talented than Kevin Devine.  I've been a massive fan of his for a few years now, though granted he's been around much, much longer.  I distinctly remember reading a thread on him over at absolutepunk.net about how great "Cotton Crush" was, just practically praising it.  I listened and immediately felt the same way I did for it, and him, like I had the first time I heard Bob Dylan, Guns N' Roses, and Bruce Springsteen.  For a period during my senior year of college I firmly touted him as the next Dylan, the voice of our generation, even though very, very few people of my generation knew who he was.  I came in late to him, having already put out 4 LPs and a handful of EPs.  I made it a purpose to see him whenever he came close to where I was, and first (knowingly) saw him in April of 2007 opening for Brand New and Manchester Orchestra (probably the best line up of a show I've ever seen) right after the release of The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me, and was blown away.  Little did I know Kevin had opened for Brand New before, back when I saw them in April of 2004 in Dewey Beach, DE while still touring for Deja Entendu.  If I only knew.  I've seen him 3 times since, again with Jesse Lacey (of Brand New) on their solo acoustic tour in July of '07, and again in September and October of '08.  I highly recommend him live to anyone, as I think he is one of the most supremely talented singer/songwriters out there.  His back catalogue is fantastic, his live performance is heartfelt, and his lyrics are smart.  I'm never disappointed when I see him, nor when I listen to him.

Brothers Blood drops in April, but unfortunately, its already leaked onto the internet.  I hope all those who download it do go and purchase it, or at least purchase tickets to his shows.  I know I'll be seeing him when he comes back to the Bowery Ballroom in April.

Recommended Tracks:

"Ballgame"

"Cotton Crush"

"You're My Incentive"

"Not Over You Yet"

"People Are So Fickle"

"No Time Flat"

"Keep Ringing Your Bell"

"You're No One Else's Problem"

Album I recommend checking out first:

Split the Country, Split the Street

Brothers Blood will be released April 28,2009.

Update: Shit the Bowery Ballroom date sold out in a flash.  Back to the old school days of eBay and over paying, but I'm doing it.

Grammy Thoughts

-I understand they're U2, and that they've significantly contributed to rock history, but I wish they'd just go away already.

-Same goes for Coldplay, minus the whole "significant contribution to rock," I seriously can not stand this band, nor its lead singer.  I also firmly believe "Viva La Vida" is not their song.

-Carrie Underwood, I love you, but please stop trying so hard to be so .. hard.  The whole, "I'm a badass because I drink tequila, and elope in Vegas, I'm so cool you guys," shtick is just annoying.  Just be your amazingly voiced self, that's badass enough.

-Taylor Swift is amazing, and made to look even more amazing with the accompaniment of Miley Cyrus next to her.  Miley ruined that song.

-Robert Plant, let Alison Krauss talk, and then after that, get back with Led Zeppelin, thanks. Love, everyone.

-Just seeing Jennifer Hudson makes me tear up, but was she lip syncing? 

-Jason Mraz, chill with the bronzer, please.

-Holy shit, absolutepunk.net's server is down, and has been for almost half an hour after the confirmed blink182 reunion. In other words: YAY BLINK! Also, did anyone else think Tom Delonge seemed really not into the whole reunion thing? 

-Katy Perry, you are an embarrassment to anyone with a vagina.  Learn how to sing live, if in fact you were (which if you weren't learn to sing period, and talk to your engineers then cause damn that sounded horrible), also learn how to perform and not just walk/skip around the stage and touch your face with an "oh my!" expression.

-Estelle: now that is how you sing live.

-I've never listened to your music Adele, but.. yeah that's all I've got. Her expression after mentioning the Jonas Brothers was amazing.

-Robert Plant confesses that "Please Read the Letter" was actually a song that he and Jimmy Page wrote post-Zeppelin.  We're all real thankful you decided to not record it with said writers, and do it instead with a bluegrass singer. Huh. Let's rewind 30 years and ask him if he ever thought he'd be singing bluegrass, also ask Jimmy Page what he thinks of it.. I'd love to know.

-The "Rap Pack" ... so many big egos, such a little stage.  Also, love that they sampled from MIA, a female rapper.  Lastly, MIA's unborn child is cooler than any living human being at the moment, but does it know it?

-Absolutepunk.net is still down. 

-What was the point of the performance of "I Saw Her Standing There"? Oh, he's nominated for an award.  Clearly that means he's going to win... or NOT.  Did not see Mayer coming away with that! Shit.  Way to switch things up Academy, I was about to rip on you for being so predictable with the whole "artist performing before category with which they are nominated!"

-I don't like country much at all but that Sugarland song is wonderful.

-Absolutepunk.net is back up, thank god, and I just teared up reading the Blink press release (via ap.net):

"..Preparing to tour the world. Friendships reformed." Tear.

-Odd that Gwyneth introduced Radiohead. I've never listened to In Rainbows, but I may start now. Also very cool performing with the USC marching band.

-TI no one has swagger like you, I hardly ever swoon, but I am.

-And tell me how Neil Diamond fits into the Grammys this year?  I really hope the audience sings, "SO GOOD SO GOOD! SO GOOD!" .... and they didn't.  Lame.

-I can't believe this thing isn't over yet.

-Why are so many artists appearing multiple times?

-What's with the girls and the umbrella dancing going on during Lil Wayne's and Robin Thicke's performance?

I DO NOT EVER WANT TO SEE THE PEPSI COMMERCIAL IMPLYING THAT WILL.I.AM IS ANY WHERE NEAR IN MUSICAL CLASS AS BOB DYLAN. EVER. WHOS STUPID FUCKING IDEA WAS THIS?

-Way to be predictable Academy.

-REALLY? You're putting the music on for FUCKING ROBERT PLANT? Unbelievable. 

Speechless.

Why is Paris Hilton presenting at the Grammys?  There's only 11? 13? awards actually being handed out during the broadcast and out of a hundred, at least, legitimate presenters you narrowed your 13 down to include Paris Hilton, and if I remember correctly.. The Rock??

America's Corporate Rock Self Pat On The Back Airs Tonight

The absurdity that is the Grammys is tonight.  I don't think any other awards ceremony still going on these days has lost more credibility than this one.  All it does is reward those people who lack enough  talent, but have an abundance of greed, to succumb to whatever processed piece of music their A&R rep throws at them.  A look at this year's nominees include Ne-Yo, Slipknot, Jordin Sparks, KATY PERRY, and Kid Rock.  Are you shitting me? Besides sell a billion albums and capitalizing on the "it's cool to be a lesbian when you're drunk trend" that has encompassed college campuses for years now, what the hell has Katy Perry contributed to music that is deserving of a trophy? And are we seriously nominating Kid Rock for putting new words to a mix of two old songs, and not changing the melody at all?  Clearly it is a ratings bait, I get that, but how is it that those who actually deserve praise for their talent never get it?  There are so many artists exponentially better than those nominated, than those who sell millions of albums, than those who reap the benefits of mediocre talent, but no self respect.

Let's list all things corporate about Bruce's halftime show shall we?

First off, Mr. Springsteen, you have an incredibly genius marketing and PR team-

Cover of Rolling Stone to coincide with week prior to release of Working on a Dream

Release date of your highly promoted Working on a Dream album:  January 27, 2009

Announcement of your upcoming World Tour: January 27, 2009

Superbowl Halftime Show: February 1, 2009

Premier of VH1's "Making of Working on a Dream": February 1, 2009

Tickets go on sale for said World Tour: February 2, 2009.

Well done, I probably will get tickets to your show.

Secondly, way to scrap "wrap your hands round these velvet rims and strap your hands cross my engines," from the "Born to Run" performance.  Can't have any concerned parents hearing motorcycle masked sexual innuendoes!  God forbid a 6 year old asks what a velvet rim is.  Wait, what is a velvet rim?