"Thanks to a major push by MTV..."

"..the song made GNR rock gods." (talking about the "Welcome to the Jungle" video)

Um last I checked, MTV did NOT want to play that video, and only played it once late at night on Headbanger's Ball.  There was NO PUSH by MTV to make GNR what they became.  But go ahead and take credit for it Viacom.

Also, explain to me how "Welcome to the Jungle" can be the #1 greatest hard rock song of all time, and be only the 26th greatest song of the '80s?

Edit:  OK, "Sweet Child O' Mine" is number 7.

Parts of songs stuck in my head the past 7 days:

"Thunder Road" by Bruce Springsteen - over and over and over and over, I can not get this part out of my brain: "so you're scared and you're thinkin that maybe we ain't that young anymore.."

"Sunday" by Bloc Party - specifically "I'll love you in the morning, when you're still hungover, I'll love you in the morning, when you're still strung out."  It's like torture, I love the song but why my brain can't process any other string of words in this song beyond these is driving me crazy.

If it ain't broke don't fix it.

Lil Wayne.. no.  Just, no.  Put the guitar down!

I couldn't have said it better myself.

I just talked about how we need a musical rebirth, especially in the rock n roll world..

"All of this might be complete nonsense.  Rebirth might never see the light of day (actually, given Wayne's track record with release dates, this seems very possible). But "Prom Queen" exists.  This cannot be denied.  And that existence is meaningful.  Take a look at this week's BillBoard Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks chart.  The top five features songs by Shinedown, Disturbed, Nickelback, Mudvayne, and Seether.  It is probably the most depressing list in history.  None of these songs make you feel anything ... they reveal no truths (except Nickelback's "Something In Your Mouth," which affirms that, yes, you would look better with something in your mouth).  And that's why Wayne's song is better than each of them.  Not, you know, musically; universal truth-ily.  And that's important.  Axl would be proud.  Or jealous."

I came across this article by James Montgomery from his Bigger Than the Sound weekly column he writes over at MTV.com.  Montgomery is talking about the new forthcoming album, Rebirth, from Lil Wayne.. which is apparently an all rock album.  He compares Wayne to Rose because no one ever told Rose no, and Chinese Democracy is basically a vanity project.. much like the upcoming Rebirth.  I am in no way saying that Lil Wayne's upcoming indulgence is going to be the rock rebirth I've been waiting for.  Not at all.  I just wanted to highlight the extreme pain everyone (or anyone who cares) is feeling over our current "rock stars".  I feel you James Montgomery, I feel you.

Music just doesn't mean records.

I touched on the books I was reading in my last post, so I figured I'd list all of my favorite things having to do with music that don't actually involve listening to an album.

Some Books:

Disclaimer: I am a huge fan of Chuck Klosterman.

Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman.

Something that fascinates me about creativity in general is that it usually burns out people pretty fast.  I am fascinated by the "death of young rock geniuses" such as Jimmy Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, and Jim Morrison (all at 27).  I too, often spend too much time in my head debating if these people really were geniuses only because they didn't live long enough to prove to the public that they weren't. In this book Klosterman travels cross country to visit the sites and graves of some of rock's greatest tragedies, and debates that last sentiment also. Perfection.

Watch You Bleed: The Saga of Guns N Roses by Stephen Davis

If you don't know by now how much I love this (ORIGINAL LINEUP) band, then I really don't know what else to say except: I LOVE THIS BAND.  If you do know that, well then, I don't really need to tell you why I love this book.

Love Is A Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time by Rob Sheffield

This book made me cry.  Besides that, I loved the fact that every chapter was started with a mix tape from the time period he was writing about.  I wish I had thought of this.

Fargo Rock City by Chuck Klosterman

Klosterman spends a whole chapter following tribute bands, a Guns N Roses one in particular.  I had the pleasure of seeing Chuck read this exact chapter live at Highline Ballroom.  As pathetic as it is, that is one of the highlights of my life.

SLASH by Slash with Anthony Bozza

Does this really need an explanation? If it does:  the subtitle alone should make anyone want to read this book- "Just because its excessive doesn't mean it didn't happen." Bravo. Marketing at its finest.

Perfect From Now On: How Indie Rock Saved My Life by John Sellers

Though I don't think the author ever really explained what in fact, indie rock did that saved his life, I thought this book was tolerable.  Mostly because I hope to one day publish a book in the same vein, and least of all because Chuck Klosterman was quoted on the back as saying that he, "completely disagrees with everything the author says."  So, naturally, I had to read it.  Let it also be said that the author makes a list in the back of the book of all the "indie" bands he didn't actually talk about in the book, but felt worth mentioning.  I had absolutely no real issues with the book until I came across Panic! at the Disco on that list.  At this point I officially decide that I hate that writer, and subsequently I render his opinions crap.*

Rock On: An Office Power Ballad by Dan Kennedy

I see a lot of my own daily thoughts in his.  His writing is witty, and its interesting to see a outsider's view of his life on the inside of the music biz. Only downfall: this is book in which every other page has something to say about Phil Collins.  I've gotten over it, for now.

Reckless Road: Guns N Roses and the Making of Appetite for Destruction by Marc Canter

A must for any GNR fan, this book is filled with early (read: Steven Adler era) Guns pics.  I was born too late.

*I know someone out there (most likely the two people who actually know this, though I doubt they, or anyone, read this) would love to out me as a hypocrite after that statement.  Therefore, I will out myself.  I own a Panic! at the Disco shirt.  I still love it, I think it is one of the coolest designed band shirts that I have.  I was an extreme Panic advocate in mid to late 2005 (pre Nintendo Fusion Tour with FOB, pre blow out, and pre subsequent living joke), so much in fact that when lead singer Brandon Urie (I'm not sure if that's right and I don't want to look it up) was done with his 5 song set at said Nintendo Fusion Tour, he made his way to the back of the venue where NOT A SINGLE PERSON said anything to him.  3 people, maybe, sang their songs while they were on stage, and I'm pretty sure they were booed off by kids who would later overtly embrace them.  I also hate Panic now because I, for once in my life, decided to approach a favorite artist of mine and let them know how great they are... and I embarrassed myself royally.

Why is my life always stalked by bad music?

I shouldn't say bad music.  That is unfair.  What I should say is music that I don't like.  For some reason completely unknown to me, I am always stalked in my daily life by music and/or musicians that I don't really like.  I also seem to have the uncanny ability to transmit telepathic messages to bands booking tours saying, "Stay far, far, away from my current location."

Examples include:

I do not like Phil Collins.  If someone could just tell me what impact he had on music, then maybe I'd respect him.  But as of right now, no one has posed a valid argument proving that Phil Collins is integral to music besides "Seven Ages of Rock" on VH1 Classic.  And that wasn't even about Phil Collins, it was about Peter Gabriel, bear head, red dress wearing, psychedelic era, Genesis.  (Which only made me respect that era Genesis for about .5 seconds before I realized they were just harping on the fact that Peter Gabriel capitalized on that era of gender bending androgynous rock.)

That being said Exhibit #1:

Exhibit 1a: Date & Time: Thursday, January 22- 7:00pm / Location: My dad's car.

Got picked up in NY to go back to DE to visit with my broken leg stricken mom, and get fitted for a bridesmaid dress, among other things.  Have nice discussion 4/5 of the way home (with no radio on) with my Dad about my hatred for the music industry, and how music is not a product that can be judged based on it success (post about this later).  Turn the radio on with about 30 minutes to spare before the driveway and hear Phil Collins.

Exhibit 1b: Date:  Friday, January 23- 12:15am / Location: Parent's living room

After watching various television shows decide to put on VH1 Classic because I see that LiveAid is on.  Immediately see Phil Collins' mullet gracing the screen.  He is sharing the stage (undeservingly) with Led Zeppeling (he filled in for John Bonham). 

Exhibit 1c: Date: Friday, January 23- 6pm / Still in parents living room

Tell gimpy mother that I watched Live Aid last night.  She replies with, "oh how cool!" so we decided to see if it is on.  Indeed it is.  Put on channel to see, once again, Collins' mullet on stage with Sting. I wasn't impressed the first time and I'm definitely not impressed now.

Exhibit 1d: Date: Sunday, January 25 11:30pm / Back in NYC apt

After finishing Perfert From Now On by John Sellers, I decide to start reading Rock On by Dan Kennedy.  His second chapter is about how he has to come up with an advertising concept to celebrate Collins' 25 years in the business.  I stop reading.. only to find out..

Exhibit 1e: Date: Monday, January 26 12:00am / NYC apartment

Kennedy then goes on to talk about one of his new colleagues in particular- a woman who has a pretty decent wardrobe save for the ratty, old, bleached denim jacket she wears with EVERYTHING. She also pops her collar.  Said jacket has World Tour printed over one side of the front of the jacket, and Staff printed over the other side.  That back has the name of Genesis' 1981 World Tour.

Exhibit 2:

I've expressed my feelings on Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun".  Needless to say, everyday since I've started working, my boss has played that song.  Every.single.day. 

Why are you stalking my life Phil Collins and Chris Cornell? And why can't I swap you for say, I don't know Slash? Or Axl? Hell I'd even take Paul McCartney at this rate.

Exhibit 3:

Regarding my telepathic messages to those who book tours I say this:

I lived in Delaware for 21 years and 9 months of my life.  For those 21 years and 9 months I saw, maybe, 4 bands IN Delaware.  The rest of my time was spent traveling to either Philadelphia, Baltimore, or touring's guaranteed hit: New York City.  For the three months of my 22 years of existence that I did not reside in Delaware, I lived in said tour booking's mecca.  I saw one show in the city limits of New York.  The only other shows I saw that summer were in JERSEY.  I have since moved back to New York and have seen ONE show in Manhattan.  I traveled to Philadelphia to see Bob Dylan, and while I know this one is a no brainer, I took a look at Springsteen's just released World Tour dates and sure enough, no Madison Square Garden dates.  Where in the greater NY area will he be playing? Hempstead. Albany. AND TWO DATES IN EAST RUTHERFORD,NJ.  At this rate, I'm shocked he's not making a pit stop at the University of Delaware.

Change.

When I started this blog my initial posts talked about bands like Death Cab for Cutie, Saves the Day, and Say Anything.  For some reason, over the past two months my musical taste has changed drastically.  It is not uncommon for me to go through phases of artists, albums, or songs in which it is the only thing I can listen to, but those phases usually take place in one genre.  Recently, my entire genre choice has changed.  I've converted to classic rock n roll.  I can not tell you that last time that I listened to an artist confined to the "alternative" category.  My iPod playlists have consisted of every song off of Appetite for Destruction, "Thunder Road", John Mellencamp, "Pinball Wizard" and "Squeezebox", and finally, Led Zeppelin.  I find myself googling Van Halen (never with Hagar), AC/DC, and Judas Priest.  I spend less and less time on one of my favorite music blogs (Absolutepunk.net), and hardly ever visit OhMyRockness.com anymore.  I'm nostalgic for a time I never experienced. It's quite refreshing.  Which is exactly what I think the world needs right now.  Something needs to change. There hasn't been any break-out artists in ages.  Can't anyone produce original music anymore? Are we bound to electronic beats and auto-tune for the rest of our lives? Can we please stop the ear-splitting digital mastering of albums, like Death Magnetic?  Can someone please step up and shatter the world with real music and real passion?  Can someone please do something about this?  Aren't we due for a musical awakening? 

Perfection.

The screen door slams, Mary's dress waves

Like a vision dances across the porch as the radio plays

Roy Orbison singing for the lonely

Hey that's me and I want you only

Don't turn me home again, I just can't face myself alone again

Don't run back inside, darling you know just what I'm here for

So you're scared and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore

Show a little faith, there's magic in the night

You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright

Oh and that's alright with me

You can hide 'neath your covers and study your pain

Make crosses from your lovers, throw roses in the rain

Waste your summer praying in vain for a savior to rise from these streets

Well now I'm no here that's understood

All the redemption I can offer, girl is beneath this dirty hood

With a chance to make it good somehow, hey what else can we do now?

Except roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair

Well the night's busting open these two lanes will take us anywhere

We got one last chance to make it real, to trade in these wings on some wheels

Climb in back heaven's waiting down on the tracks

Oh oh come take my hand, riding out tonight to case the promised land

Oh oh Thunder Road, oh Thunder Road, oh Thunder Road

Lying out there like a killer in the sun

Hey I know it's late we can make it if we run

Oh Thunder Road, sit tight take hold, Thunder Road

Well I got this guitar and I learned how to make it talk

And my car's out back if you're ready to take that long walk

From your front porch to my front seat, the door's open but the ride ain't free

And I know you're lonely for words that I ain't spoken, but tonight we'll be free, 

All the promises will be broken

There were ghosts in the eyes of all the boys you sent away

They haunt this dusty beach road in the skeleton frames of burned out Chevrolets

They scream your name at night in the street

Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet

And in the lonely cool before dawn, you hear their engines roaring on

But when you get to the porch they're gone

On the wind, so Mary climb in

It's a town full of losers, and I'm pulling out of here to win.

Update 2: If "Thunder Road" was a man I'd marry it.

Back on the "I can't go a day without listening to 'Thunder Road'" claim. 

God damn, that song is great.

Vh1's 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs Hour 5

Let me just start by saying that I have a a severe obsession with any and everything (original lineup) Guns N' Roses.  I understand the scope of addiction now, more than ever, when it comes to things relating to this band.  I find paying $350.00 for the original, not rereleased, UZI Suicide EP completely acceptable.  I think Appetite for Destruction is perfection.  I am willing to pay anything, and go anywhere, for an original lineup reunion tour.  And most insane of all, I am still holding out hope that one day that tour will actually happen.  That being said, I was shocked "Welcome to the Jungle" was VH1's greatest hard rock song.  I watched in anticipation the first 10 songs of the hour thinking it was going to fall in the 12 or 13 position.  Didn't happen.  I sat through 11-5 thinking maybe GNR fans were anxious and over voted. When that didn't happen I figured maybe Axl, in the lawsuit happy world he lives in, maybe wanted nothing to do with such a countdown.  Was I wrong.  When number 1 came and it was let on that "Welcome to the Jungle" was the picked I was in complete disbelief.  It beat out Zeppelin, AC/DC, Sabbath, and the Who.  I've never felt so proud (pathetic I know). Never before in my life have my musical tastes been confirmed in a semi-legitimate way, not that it ever stopped me from listening.  (Yes, I do realize I have shit all over this fan voted countdown from the beginning).  However, it was great to see a band that embodied everything about about rock n' roll that I loved being such highly regarded as just downright great rock n' roll.  Words cannot express how much I love this era of the band.  Appetite for Destruction is one of my all-time favorite records.  It evokes such intensity that you can't help but think that rock music does not get any more raw than this.  Those original 5 members of GNR managed to put together such a great debut album that it was nearly impossible for anything after that to truly match up to it (which is probably why "Welcome to the Jungle" is the only GNR song on the countdown, though I firmly believe Appetite for Destruction is pure perfection from start to finish).  

In regards to the rest of the countdown I don't believe there isn't one song in there that shouldn't be.  It's also somewhat ironic that most of the songs have the word "rock" in them.  Examples include: "Rock You Like A Hurricane", "I Wanna Rock", and "Rock and Roll All Nite".  Not that those three songs were included just for that reason alone.  Those songs all deserve to be there, as they account for 3 of the most defining songs in hard rock recent history.  I think Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was thrown in for good measure only, because there are no other seemingly independent bands on the list, save for Soundgarden (as stated before, "Black Hole Sun" = overrated).   

This list seems to be getting a lot of shit for it's rankings.  It is definitely a lot of '80s, a lot of hair metal, and a lot of top 40 hits.  Will there ever come a day when we won't be influenced by music industry politics? Sigh.

Addendum To "An Open Letter to.." Post

Steven Adler, please, for the love of Guns N' Roses, get yourself clean.  You are heartbreaking to watch.  You brought a sound, attitude, and energy to that band that Matt Sorum could never duplicate.  In "Celebrity Rehad with Dr. Drew" when you cried to have your best friend Slash back, I had to choke back tears.  Don't go out like that.

Update

I have in fact, since the original post about Bruce Springsteen, survived many days without listening to "Thunder Road" -- no surprise there.

VH1's 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs Hour 4

Almost there.  (Yes, I realize I am drastically behind with this, but I did start a practically full-time job, so my inspirational bursts of opinions have been confined to certain hours of the day when I can barely even stay awake.) Songs 40-21.  Exciting to say the least, no to say the most.  I'm not going to lie, it was a completely non-surprising list.  Led Zep? check. Ozzy? Sure. Let's throw some Green Day in for good measure! And we all know that Bret Michaels demanded that a Poison song be in the top half or else he wouldn't have hosted (or would he? could there be any more Bret Michaels infused commercials?  Time Life compilations, Rock of Love Tour Bus, his new hideous sounding album? I didn't know what was worse his weave or the fact that he's actually still putting himself out there- in public!- with that weave.)  There were a few gems in this hour though like Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation" which I love for two reasons: it's awesome (as is Ms. Jett) and it reminds me of "Freaks and Geeks"- the great early 2000s high school show filled with Apatownians.  I also liked, who am I kidding, LOVED, the inclusion of "Hot for Teacher" by Van Halen.  Everytime I hear that song start up I lose it (what it is that I supposedly 'lose' I don't really know, but suffice to say I think that song kicks ass- and I hate Van Hagar.)  "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" is awesome as well, since it showcases one of the finer moments in original frontman Bon Scott's short-lived career.  Low, and I mean LOW, lights in the hour I thought, was the inclusion of "Even Flow" by Pearl Jam.  I never, ever got into them.  At all.  I've expressed before my disinterest in the grunge movement of the early '90s, so maybe I'm bias.  I also thought it was a little cheap shot to put the Ramones in this hour.  Come on, they're the fucking Ramones! Really?  I understand their genre was punk, but isn't punk one of the most hardest form of rock?  Surely there is a song in 20-1 that is less hard than the weakest of all Ramones songs (disclaimer: not calling Blitzkrieg Bop the weakest Ramones song.)  

Needless to say this next to last hour seemed (like I said before) to be very editorialized and forced.  Here's to hoping hour 5 makes up for it.

Vh1's 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs Hour 3

Hour 3 to me was the part of the countdown in which you start to think to yourself, "there are better songs than this?" and "What could possibly be better than some of these songs?" and also, "Why isn't this higher?"  You begin to realize that it is hard to pick only 100 songs.  Hour 3 is where I can't believe some bands sit either.  Bands such as the Kinks.  Who, I mean let's be honest, inspired probably a lot of bands on this countdown that will place closer to 1 than themselves.  Things like that bother me, but when you grow up with a "respect your elders," mentality, you forget to realize that while your elders deserve respect, there will always be greater bands coming after.  That said, I also think hour 3 was very editorialized.  What I mean is that it's the hour where those putting together the series thought songs should belong, but maybe weren't getting voted on there by the fans. So notes on Hour 3:

-Warrant, sorry but your career is defined by "Cherry Pie" so look at it this way- at least everyone LIKED "Cherry Pie."  You could be remembered for writing a terrible, un-catchy, non sexual innuendo filled songs that everyone hated.

-I do not like Megadeth.  I do like the opening riff of "Peace Sells".

-I used to confuse Iggy Pop and Anthony Keidis when I was younger.  I've since stopped.  What I am confused about is how Iggy and the Stooges can be sandwiched between "Give it Away" and "Freak on a Leash", and how Korn has the highest showing between the three at 48.

-"Sunshine of Your Love" at 44?  Really? Hm.

-Though Kid Rock had a lot of catchy songs, and it was pretty hard rocking, I never thought he had any credibility?  Is it just me?  I look at Kid Rock as completely manufactured by whatever record label he's signed to.

-Dee Snider said it perfect when talking about "Slow Ride" by Foghat.. "It captures that heavy metal party vibe."  

-The Clash should have been way higher.

VH1's 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs Hour 2

So I've come to the realization that this list was a result of fan's votes of their favorite hard rock songs.  So I guess the only people I have to blame are those who voted based solely on singles.  Because let's be honest, some of these songs should be lower / higher than what they actually are.  But, props to VH1 for going by the fans and not people who think they know things just because they're in the music business.  So here's my random thoughts on hour 2:

-Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Love" should have been higher.  But I get it, there is no easy way to narrow it down to 100 songs. Fine.

-Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun"  is overrated.  Sorry.  Never really got into the early '90s grunge-ish bands of that day.  Sue me.  Also, more people talked about the video than the actual song.  That's never good.

-Lita Ford bothers me.  Don't know why. Or maybe I do.  I don't think its catchy enough.  Something is missing.  It's like drinking diet coke because the waiter brought you the wrong drink but you don't feel like explaining you wanted regular.  So then you just drink it til its gone, hope they dont bring you another and then ask for something you think he can't screw up, like water.

-I wish I could sing like Pat Benatar.

-Whie Zombie? Really?  Perfect example of how some songs should be lower (ahem) and others should be higher.  Add ZZ Top to the misplaced list.

-I can never take "The Final Countdown" seriously.  Or Europe.  Blame Will Arnett.

-Henry Rollins has a sense of humor?

-"Eye of the Tiger"?  ugh. Thank the Lord all those Rocky fanatics didn't vote it higher.  However, you are the "Bud Light Real Men of Genius" singer so that makes you OK in my book.

-I also salute you, Ratt, because I too, like Sebastian Bach, very much enjoy Round and Round.

Until the next hour..